Changes

Even though I've just passed through a change some time ago, I have to change more.
From the changes I've already passed through, the hardest ones were the ones imposed by Life. I've made a lot of progress with the changes I've self imposed, being less shy, facing my fears (I'm still under this changing, btw), growing up. I recognized them, I needed them and I was willing to change them. I did in my own pace and my own way, daring myself and testing myself.
But when everything seems to be okay and your most inner belief in a big YES turns out to be a bigger NO, how bad it would be. Imagine Hagrid (Harry Potter), when he got his dragon egg and has been taking care of it until it start to crack. And once it's cracked, he finds out that the egg was empty. For a long time his dream was a dragon and imagine how amazing it was for him to finally get a dragon egg! He was counting each day to give birth to it and patiently taking care of it. What would it be if the dragon wasn't really there?
Life is not all good like that sometimes and no matter how strong or okay you seem to be, you would be sad inside.
Now try to find out, among all of my friends, if they've ever seen me as weak or having personal problems or whining? Now I think of Auri. I feel bad for her for having to hear my problems all at once when she was the one who needed to be heard, even though I believed in the endless solution that would come out of the egg.
This change has already started and It's a absolutely no comfortable thing, but I'm trying my best to make it happen.

ps0: I'll need The Sacred Enlightment for my exams. I wonder how I'm going to pass my courses.
ps1: I have some June posts, but I might write them later... probably in July.
ps2: June rocks!