Canada

I'm finally in Canada!

For those who doesn't know how long this journey is, I'll start from the very, very begining. It's a long and repeated story, so you can skip the next four paragraphs.

Back in mid 2004, I was studying for university exam when I finally upgraded my computer. This upgrade allowed me to play this massive multiplayer online role play game called Ragnarok. Back then, there was lots of private servers, but few (paid) official ones, including the International Ragnarok Online (iRO) server. The iRO server gave each new player one week free to play and that's when I started playing it. I played it alone for some days, when I met a novice, Leona, who would help me playing at the Payon dungeon. Since I wouldn't really pay to play, I asked her for her email, and since then we started chatting almost everyday. Janiliz, the person behind the Leona character, became my very first best friend. Then, one day, back in mid 2005, Janiliz told me she met a girl who she was arguing with. I didn't care at all about that, but that fact would completely change my life.

Some weeks later I was invited to join a MSN chat, which had some of Janiliz friends, including Aurianna, the girl who she was having some arguments. Auri added me to her MSN list, but we would only talk about six months later. Then we started talking, about many things I had never talked about before. We'd talk from small topics, like the differences between our countries, to big ones, like the nature of life. There was this one day when my dog, Noah, died and she comforted me, while another day, we would just play some random game on MSN. I couldn't avoid being passionately in love with her.

It was January 1st, 2008, when I went to this New Year festival where we could write our new year wishes in a paper and give them to the (buddhist or shinto, I can't remember) monks. Coincidence or not, and I wouldn't believe it, but my wish came true some time later. Except for two moments, the next months would be the happiest ones of my life. The two exceptions: when I lost my best friend and when I lost my girlfriend. Our relationship wasn't doing that well because I started working, so I could gather money to meet Auri, and at work, there was this annual conference, when each year they organize a scientific conference in a previously selected city. At that time, in mid 2008, things wasn't going that well between Auri and I, and once I came back to São Paulo, we had this talk when I told her I wanted to break up. I was lying, I didn't really want to do that, and until now I ask myself why I did it. It was my life mistake.

Although I'd like to make myself the main character of a romance story, life is not as easy, or simple, as what we imagine. The twist in my life made me look for things so I could clear my mind. I tried karate and swiming, but I wouldn't practice it that much. I got addicted to Heroes of Newerth and quit it. Twice. And I also started working on a scientific initiation, a kind of internship, but working with a teacher. It took about 2 years, to get over the past. Then, new perspectives came to my life. Accepting the single life I always had before made me go back to the track of all the effort I was putting into computing and studying, and I joined a new project. But I was finishing an important milestone. I was graduating.

We might not know what future brings us, and sometimes we must be intrepid to walk into the unknown, but we all have the power to change our own lives. I could just keep living in my city, just like I've always done, but I had to put myself into the trial of leaving my comfort zone. With a small stimulus from my friend Helena, and after a few preparation months, I put myself into the adventure of traveling to Canada.

Except for a few ones, almost all of my friends don't know about my past with Aurianna. When I tell them I'm going to visit her, I make it sound like I'm visiting just another friend, but the truth is that it means much more than that, for me. Two weeks ago, I finally met her for the first time.

She's beautiful. I also met Brandon, Auri's boyfriend, last week, at the beach with her friends and at his dad's Cinco de Mayo celebration. I try to tell my few friends who know the story about his boyfriend, but I can't remember who knows what. Anyway, the thing is that Brandon is a good guy. He's attractive, fun, smart, friendly, good with children. It surpresed me so much because I wouldn't believe it if people just tell me. Despite the past feelings, I'm convinced she took a good path. (While I can barely communicate that well in spoken english.)

It's still a bit awkward because I haven't talked much with her (it's my fault, actually), but I'm really happy for being able to and finally meeting her.