Like a teenager...

I got a crush... but I'm afraid of breaking my heart with someone who I care so much and have known for so long.

Taken away

A night before last I dreamed I as laying down, when a little wild bird landed besides me, letting me touch and pet him. Suddenly a cat came and ate the bird. Last night I dreamed that I finally got to meet a girl, here in São Paulo, but a friend of mine impressed her so much she didn't even talk to me. In the end, we seemed to be strangers.

At restaurant, with parents

My parents are humble people. They came from a small town, five hours away from where we currently are. Since then, they worked to buy their own things, from zero, and to raise four children. They worked so hard for years, but now they are in a transition time when people should stop working and enjoy life the way they couldn't before.

The problem with raising so many children is that everything involving all the family can be very expensive and a way to save some money is to buy those food which can safisty six people within a reasonable price. Now everyone is grown up and have their life running on, but my parents are so used to that life that they need some help with taking the first steps.

Well, as my sisters and their attachments (a.k.a. boyfriends) are not here, I asked them if they didn't want to have dinner in a restaurant. There are some suggestions of restaurants close to where we are, but their argument is that they are expensive. So I suggested a cheap chinese restaurant, Chi Fu, and they embraced the idea.

It took a while to dress up and finally leave, when I found out the restaurant's calling time is 22h. It was ten to nine post meridiem. We left, and while dad was driving us, I was  wondering if we could arrive in time and making strategies to make it work and eventually considering a B plan.

We got there and Chi Fu was still open and full of people, fortunately. We found a free table at the end of the restaurant hall and we looked over the menu. There were many options and I adviced them that each portion can satisfy well the three of us. So we ordered pasta with seafood. In the meanwhile, a couple arrived at the restaurant and as there were no more tables, the waiter asked us if we could share a table. The asian woman and the man with a cap discreetly took their places.

We ate the food and got all satisfied. I think mom loved the place and dad loved the price. She was even thinking on taking my uncle and aunt there. They are farmers, and like my parents, they are not used to going to restaurant either. I'm happy and proud of them, since they broke this mind barrier and actually went to a restaurant without hesitating and worry much about money the way they would, some years ago.

Snap Thought #13

People are born with a good and pure heart.

Yet another existencial crisis

I've been trying to study Calculus IV today, but I haven't been into the mood for that. Actually, I think I can't been much into the mood for many things, really. I got this feeling that all of my efforts are worthless. And it makes me wonder what my existence is all about. To do all the worthless things? To survive? I learned how to get rid of those those thoughts, making myself busy and not thinking about it. It won't ease my silenced inner self, tho. I can't feel I grow up as a person who works for making our beautiful planet a better place to live, but a toolmaker, who makes tools so others can use and change world at their will, since they got the power to do so.

I'm sure I'm not the first and won't be the last to reflect about it, but this kind of reflection came in such an early stage in my life, when I still got absolutely nothing in return to the society. The only thing I got are questions that nobody can answer, but that I should find it myself.