Existential Crisis

I try different cuisines
I watch new and old films
I listen to eclectic songs
I read articles and books
I hand out with friends
I work on projects

But everything has been so empty...

To Solitude, by Alice Cary

To Solitude
Alice Cary

I am weary of the working,
Weary of the long day’s heat;
To thy comfortable bosom,
Wilt thou take me, spirit sweet?

Weary of the long, blind struggle
For a pathway bright and high,—
Weary of the dimly dying
Hopes that never quite all die.

Weary searching a bad cipher
For a good that must be meant;
Discontent with being weary,—
Weary with my discontent.

I am weary of the trusting
Where my trusts but torments prove;
Wilt thou keep faith with me? wilt thou
Be my true and tender love?

I am weary drifting, driving
Like a helmless bark at sea;
Kindly, comfortable spirit,
Wilt thou give thyself to me?

Give thy birds to sing me sonnets?
Give thy winds my cheeks to kiss?
And thy mossy rocks to stand for
The memorials of our bliss?

I in reverence will hold thee,
Never vexed with jealous ills,
Though thy wild and wimpling waters
Wind about a thousand hills.

Source: American Poetry: The Nineteenth Century (The Library of America, 1993)
(link)

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Vocabulary:

weary of: bored with something because you have experienced too much of it.
bosom: the front of a person's chest, especially when thought of as the centre of human feelings.
dimly: not likely to succeed.
cipher: a system of writing that prevents most people from understanding the message; a code.
drift: to move slowly, especially as a result of outside forces, with no control over direction.
bark: the hard outer covering of a tree.
moss: a very small green or yellow plant that grows especially in wet earth or on rocks, walls and tree trunks.
vexed: difficult to deal with and causing a lot of disagreement and argument.
wimple: to cause to ripple.

New days

I like to think that the moon is there even if I am not looking at it.
(Albert Einstein)

Emanated by memory shards,
nostalgia scent in the air.
Two years has passed.
How many tick tocks can we bear?

So many things have happened,
and so many changes were done.
Enough of sadness, enough of grief,
all I want now is good times to come!

I am now confident and very positive,
I'll make my mind and heart open and very active.

Autumn wanderer

It's a clear sky and a shinning sun over my head
The sand massages my feet with each step I make
But the wind is cold.

It's Autumn.

That's the season when I was born
It's the most nostalgic seasons,
with the fresh memories from spring and summer
It's where the last beauties lays before winter.

At the seashore, Nature won't stop its waves
nor the small lives will stop for this lonely wanderer to pass.

The scent and the song are now gone,
no matter how many times I smell or listen to the air.

I still keep walking, wondering if I'll ever feel something like I once felt.

Right here, right now

My passion burns for you
It is a fire that will never leave
it is a flame that will never fade

You are my dear
You stole my heart
You are my desire

I cannot sleep
I cannot wake up
Without the hard heart beating

I wish you here
I wish you now

Please, leave everything behind
and let me hold you by your hips
and let me kiss your sweet lips...

This Way

I've much prepared
with words you've taught
for the road I had got
that is no more paired

So this is the way
what a lonely walk
nobody here to talk
about what I wanna say

Blurred is my sight
I can see you're there
but this atmosphere?
There's no left or right

Shine, my little star
So, through the way
Without fear I can say
'Este poema quero recitar'



(May 6th, 2007)

Drafts

Overvalued by the footprints,
the carried bag is not weighted;
It's color is now turned into gray;
the light within was shown before,
disrupting the dark nights
with soft shinning beams.

Might be now stuck, by thoughts and complaints,
only the back side of the horizon edge can be seen.
It's an old world, full of fables, full of fates.
Old discoveries lay deep within their heart,
a place where they're granted, immutable.

Present is a different time,
a decision time for both future and past.
Whatever is chosen, new paths are unrevealed.
Some might be disguised,
others might mislead expectations.
But what's the meaning of life,
if not to live and learn?

To Myself

Dear Myself,

What happened, had to happen.
Tears are inner scars you let people see.
What's the use of not expressing your sadness when you're sad,
being unable to express your happiness when you're happy?
Your destiny doesn't lie in past nor future.
The will you have within is very strong.
You're brave, no matter what you might think.
Fight for the dreams you have, whatever fate might bring.
And don't close your eyes for the amazing world you live into,
where the magic of Nature pleases your soul,
without asking anything back.
Learn with the book of Life.

Rafael.

Fireflies

Fireflies in the air,
some light they share.
They meet, they dance,
enjoying in every chance.
Flying, the group shines.
Along the path, silent rhymes
But in the night we can't know
when predators themselves show.
This time is a different one, tho,
the energies are out of their flow.
And at the diverging path of life
the little fireflies, fly their lives

Night Sky

Night Sky

In the late night,
dark clouds cover the sky.
It's all moisted
and the rain is still there.
Drop by drop they fall,
flying through the gentle air
that blows routeless.
Soon, there won't be any water
to fall from the clouds
but a clean sky
with shining and lonely stars
so accessible to our eyes
but yet so distant to our hands...

Lonelyness

It's cold, it's winter.
Nothing can be done.
And I must just accept.
What about the seed?
Who will sprinkle it?
We both dared to do it
But now, what happened,
it's a so lonely duty.
Is it an illusion?

This way?

I've much prepared
with words you've taught
for the road I had got
that is no more paired

So this is the way
what a lonely walk
nobody here to talk
about what I wanna say

Blurred is my sight
I can see you're there
but this atmosphere?
There's no left or right

Shine, my little star
So, through the way
Without fear I can say
'Para sempre vou te amar'