Pessimist's mistake

I'm a pessimist. Of all possibilities, the worst.

It's troublesome to think that if we consider the worst scenario, whatever comes will be better than expectations. My reason behind that, at first, was to be able to celebrate when it was actually meant to. In other words, to stay skeptic when there is chance of failure and celebrate only when I'm completely sure of success. But the thing is real life doesn't really work that way.

I was reflecting about last post and I got into the conclusion that pessimism took place. Given the lack of communication, the night monsters started to act inside my mind, giving me bad thoughts when reality might be completely the opposite. I can't say it is, but the possibility exists, doesn't it?

I know I'm not perfect and I make a lot of stupid things, but I want to give her my affection, to take care of her, to make her good.

Sticky

Of all my friends, there's only one who I want to talk to, but I get no answer. In the hope to start a talk I send her messages, but she doesn't reply me. And it's been for longer than a week. I'll stop because I feel like I'm flooding her and that she doesn't really want to reply those messages. It's a bit saddening when the person you to talk to doesn't really want to talk back, but I don't know. Maybe they way I am actually bothers her? Maybe I'm a sticky (and desolate) guy? Or am I a person who just do everything wrong? I hope the answer to all of these questions is negative, but I can't say it for sure. And in the case of positives, well, all I can do is to have sad thoughts about it, just like all the other times in my life...